today I made a rosary which is quite special to me… It was inspired by a broken-hearted Potions Master who devoted his life to love (a love which, as I suggest in my books of essays on the subject, was refined until it became True Love, a communion with the Eternal Other). Mystically speaking, he belonged to the One who was, is, and ever shall be, the One who is Always and transcends this life.
I used fire polished crystal glass beads, jet black and emerald, a large center (more than an inch in length) depicting the Virgin Mary with lilies on either side of her, and a pardon crucifix.
I shall be keeping this one, but making more like it for my etsy shop.
I wanted the rosary to express mourning and hope. The emerald green beads are translucent, and although the jet black ones are not, their multifaceted surface reflects the light in a way I find moving. This is, you might say, a poetic rosary.
I am looking forward to the Presanctified Liturgy tomorrow…
There are five weeks to go before the end of my livejournal fast. It has not been easy this year. I believe this is because Infinitus has been looming in my mind, and I am feeling such a mix of emotions… Joy, anticipation, bewilderment, vulnerability, ardor… Reading my loved ones’ journals and partaking of their lives is a comfort to me, but it is good for one’s desires to be mortified. This teaches patience and true love.
The mortification I am embracing is making my prayers for my precious ones sweeter than ever.
I try to love as best I can, knowing all the while that my attempts are like muddied waters. Thus I repeat, “Remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” Confronted by my baser tendencies and sinfulness, the only thing I can do is mutter, Wretch. At the same time, I am at peace… My heart belongs to the Holy One, in whom is all my hope, the One who is so long-suffering and of such great goodness.
Wait, He so often repeats in the Scriptures. Be still. I wait for Him in all things. I am dismayed by my inner darkness, but I learn to be patient, to let Him be at work in me; I live according to His seasons and accept His will. Most of the time, I do not accept it very gracefully, but I trust that the beginning of acceptance, my fumbling efforts, my scribbles upon a piece of paper, as it were -God have mercy on me! I believe that they please Him.
My only wish is to be like Him.
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor