new project

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

So, it’s almost the end of August. Which is great. I’m really looking forward to autumn… Spring and summer this year: exhausting as fuck, mostly because of the loony weather. It’s nice and cool today, and this feels fantastic.

Hit the Road: I’m not anywhere near having finished this book, BUT I will have a new book out soon.

I’ve begun a new project, and I’m quite excited about it.

It involves a series of short books, 36 pages in length, one per month. It’s like a kind of literary magazine or something.

Here’s the blurb:

Logospilgrim, prolific writer and disco tomboy, has embarked upon a series of short books that will be released on a monthly basis. She shares candid, maverick thoughts about the small joys of life, being who you are, personal freedom, and much more in her unique, unapologetic stay home vagabond poet style. These books are the written equivalent of instant photographs. Join her on the road to nowhere and everywhere.

And here’s the cover of the first issue, titled The Corner Store Epiphany:

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I went for a simple, 70s-inspired look. I’m thinking that the front cover colors, and the back cover photograph, will change each year. Haha, I’m already hopeful this project will endure for years… I think it just might, though. This is the first time I’ve written exactly what I wanted to write, and it felt wonderful working on this short book. I’m already looking forward to the next one. Same cover, different title.

The August 2017 issue is available on lulu, and will be available on Amazon as well in a few weeks. It’s only available in print form, in keeping with the spirit of this series.

Allow me to reiterate how good I feel about this project. As usual, I’m unsure whether it’s crap or not, but whatever. Doing it anyway. Doing it my way.

My writing in a nutshell:

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I’m still pretty worn out re: this whole year. Fortunately, I’m much, much better at taking care of myself.

My record collection keeps expanding. I’ve got Heaven 17 on the way, more disco, more New Wave. Vinyl rules so hard. Every time I go to one of the local record stores, there’s more vinyl, new and old. This thrills me to no end.

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Digital can be useful, but it can’t be everything. I think the hawkers of digital (“enjoy your convenient nothing”) are realizing it can’t be everything. For the most part, digital can blow me, to be perfectly blunt.

I’ve rediscovered the absolute joy of portable radios. That wondrous “tinny” sound transports me right back to days when songs like Born to Be Alive were new. Last night, I was working on something or other, and Funkytown came on a fave local station: my heart skipped a beat. Streaming simply does not compare.

My small Sony AM FM portable radio will be joined by a Panasonic AM FM radio (that I’ll be able to plug in), and a pocket Philips AM FM radio that’ll go in my Fjallraven backpack.

Bags are happiness.

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And check out these sweet vintage Snoopy plates… Snoopy is everything.

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I am still working on a photocopied zine too. Thinking it might be a bi-monthly or quarterly thing, because they take more time to produce…

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Which reminds of another recent old love: instant photography. My Instax 9 fills me with pure ecstasy. Every time a small semi-fuzzy photograph emerges from the top of the camera, I want to do a little dance.

Here’s a photo I took the other day. 80s tomboy, baby.

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Speaking of the 80s, I can’t wait to get my hands on this thing of beauty:

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Gaston forever. Agendas are my happy place.

So, all in all, everything’s good. I’m creating, resting, taking a fatigue/stress tonic, enjoying my life and my home. Not putting up with bullshit. Doing what I need to do to live with PTSD: setting limits, reinforcing my barriers, giving priority to all that is helpful to me, gives me relief, and allows me to cope with life in general. I’m more and more aware of what I want and don’t want, what’s good for me and what harms me. I know that when I’m confronted with situations that are even remotely similar to original traumas, the “off” switch to sky-high stress reactions just doesn’t work. You could even say that it’s not there; it doesn’t exist. I calm myself by avoiding such situations as much as possible, by going into hyper-arousal mode when they occur (“bug out bag” syndrome), and by requiring extensive periods of recovery afterwards. That’s how it is.

Sometimes, by going numb. This does still happen, though it’s not as severe as when I was a teenager.

Oh, and by writing. Especially by writing. As a friend recently put it, self-expression is self-preservation.

I’ve been giving myself permission to say “no” to shit that is particularly damaging to me.

As a result, I feel good. I can function. I can be happy.

I am finally living life on my own terms.

Say cheese.

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6 thoughts on “new project

    • I’m using a large font, so I kept the book regular size (as opposed to pocketbook size)… But your pocketbook is going to look awesome! I love pocketbooks 🙂

      I’m happier about this particular project than almost everything else I’ve done. It’s what I want to do, how I want to do it… And short is good. It’s so much less pressure. It’s more relaxing. And at the end of the year, it’s a little pile of books.

      I’ve been making choices that are best for me these days. It’s a nice change, let me tell you. Also I’m just… exhausted. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this tired. So I’m going to do things my way… I’m happy with this blog, which I update a few times a month, I’m keeping “social networking” to a minimum… These booklets are for me, and I’m sharing them, basically. That’s how I’m putting myself out there. Sort of.

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  1. Dear Professor,
    I first stumbled onto your work about 10 years ago on LiveJournal, when I was barely out of my teens and trying to swim my way up from the mud pond of my childhood. At the time, you were still advocating faith along with love of all human beings, and I was endlessly fascinated by your determination to find a positive spin on the world, even when you were obviously suffering. Your words at the time helped me tremendously, up until my life took a turn for the worse and I had to cut contact with everyone in order to protect myself.
    There was a lot of soul-searching in those years, a lot of trying to come to terms with things that no one can really come to terms with, until I finally broke through to the surface and allowed myself the freedom to choose my own path.
    And now I stumble on you again. You had a hard path yourself, and many experiences I relate with. Your words are, once again, a soothing balm to me, despite the very different tone and themes — or perhaps because they aren’t that different in the end, as authentic as they used to be but now laced with a freedom you never allowed yourself at the time.
    So I wanted to thank you for this. Thank you for writing, and being yourself. You are a wonderful human being, and I wish you all the best. I’ll be following. =)
    Used to be Sara/meish_kaos, Bisexual fangirl of all things Snape and Harry Potter
    Now Leaf, Aro/Ace Genderqueer, tea nerd, and writer =)

    Liked by 1 person

    • My dearest Leaf,

      what a joy it is to cross paths with you again and to see you here ❤

      I'm so glad that you've been able to navigate the waters of uncertainty and change, and that you reached the shores of freedom and serenity. I understand what you've been going through…

      Thank you so much for all your kind words. Your affection, and respect for my own process, go straight to my heart. I do feel so much freer now. It hasn't been easy, but it was worth it. I'm going to write about all of this in Severus Snape and the Art of Being Human 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • “Severus Snape and the Art of Being Human” — what an enticing title! This is one book I’ll be eager to read whenever you’re ready to bring it into the world. In the meantime, I wish you to stay safe and filled to the brim with creative energy. Your friend’s quote is the truest thing I’ve read in a long time.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thank you so much for your kind and enthusiastic support! Much, much love to you ❤

          Isn't it an amazing quote though? I gasped when I read it. I sent her a message to thank her for sharing those words.

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