more Masterful news

Roughly two days after I approved the book for global distribution, Masterful is already available on amazon!

It is better for me if the book is purchased on lulu, but if that’s not possible for whatever reason, or if you prefer amazon, the book can now be purchased on both sites.

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It’s also listed on Ingram, meaning that you can ask any bookstore to order you a copy, if you prefer going that route.

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Here’s what a reader shared after reading one of the chapters:

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Later today, my friend Diane and I will schedule the “Potions Master handing out the Forbidden Fruit” photo session. This is going to be fun.

In the meantime, here’s a “what’s beneath the frock coat” shot I took last week:

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In other news, yesterday I purchased my copy of the new Slytherin edition of Goblet of Fire. As I flipped through the pages, I felt waves of warmth, joy, and serenity… I will always love these books. They’ll always have profound significance to me. Next will be acquiring (finally) the first four illustrated hardcover editions… Gorgeous books.

Much lies ahead.

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Masterful: now available

In Masterful, part memoir, infernal philosophy, empowering discourse, and bold thoughts about J.K. Rowling’s famed Potions Master, author and Snape lyricist Logospilgrim shares her story of personal fulfillment and liberation, touching on subjects ranging from religion to atheism, PTSD to healing and defiance, self-denial to self-celebration. Outrageous, poignant, insightful, irreverent, Masterful is a singular, audacious work written for outsiders, mavericks, and survivors.

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You can get your copy now on lulu: Masterful: Severus Snape, a Jar of Cockroaches, and Me

It’ll also be available on Amazon at some point in February. But it is better for me if you purchase from lulu.

The morning after publication, I tweeted this:

Slowly waking up. I did wake up early this morning, felt weepy, eventually dozed off again… Happy that it finally happened, that the book is done, and I’ll no doubt cry again when the physical copies arrive and I’m holding one of them in my hands…

I put all that I had in this book. The thought that some may be encouraged by what they read thrills me. I wrote the book for myself, and for those who will be encouraged by words I wish I’d read years ago.

It’s a book that says, celebrate yourself. Become deeply aware of who you are, and walk away from those who would deny you of yourself.

There are time when it’s important and vital to be selfish. There’s such a stigma attached to this word, as though to treat oneself with dignity is tasteless, an abomination; as though to acknowledge our own importance to ourselves is “subpar.”

If I hadn’t finally learned to be important to myself, I wouldn’t be where I am now. When I started treating myself as important, as my top concern, I was able to evolve, to change the things about me that tripped me up. And what I can’t change, even that began to improve.

I’ll exult if some are emboldened by the book. I’ll take great pleasure in their joy. My pleasure is a selfish act, because it does have strings attached: it’s not “selfless.” The enjoyment others experience because of what I’ve written makes my heart do flips, it’s sensual.

I also wrote the book because of another “sin”: pride. I wrote things down, created a book, and I’m putting it out there. I believe I have an ability to write things that move certain people, that I do so with a unique poetry and perspective.

I do repeat this in the book: be proud of yourself. I write about self-preservation, about thriving, about self-reverence. Since I actively began embodying the mindset these attitudes involve, my life is so much more vibrant, joyful, and I have so much more to give.

When I wrote a sentence, I kept daring myself to do it. Over and over from beginning to end. “Be proud, be strong,” I told myself. And whatever weaknesses I have, those are fine too; I learn to juggle what I have gracefully, skillfully. Weaknesses can make you skillful.

The key is to respect yourself. It’s innate, and acquired. I have perfected my self-respect, and continue doing so. In this book, I acknowledged and respected everything about myself: my loves, my anger, my thoughts, my abilities, my failures and triumphs. And I share it all.

This book won’t be for everyone; that’s fine too. I didn’t write it for everyone. It’ll speak to some people; it’s for them. I no longer try to be all things to all people. Those days are over. Because I Am that I Am. I don’t try to squeeze myself into molds where I won’t fit.

And that’s why I have more to give than ever, because I value myself as I am, as I’ve developed. And when a person tells me that what I wrote made them feel good, that it liberated them in some ways, it’s like I freed myself all over again. It’s so powerful.

So again… If you read the book and it delights you, thank you for giving me such pleasure, the pleasure of your delight, of our lives connecting, of the pleasure that comes when minds meet, when lives entwine, leaving both parties true to their individuality. Hail Thyself.

I’m tired, but very happy.

And I’m telling you… this book has bite.

Delectable photo sessions soon, of the Prince of Serpents kind.

I’m strongly considering going to Leaky in Orlando this summer…

Stay tuned.

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Masterful release: January 27

I’m in the final editing stages, almost done.

Masterful will be released on January 27.

I wrote these words about it on Dreamwidth yesterday:

I am extremely proud of my upcoming book, Masterful: Severus Snape, a Jar of Cockroaches, and Me, for so many, many reasons. As I’ve said before, this book is a kind of philosophical memoir wherein I share thoughts about Professor Snape, my emancipation process, sexual identity, PTSD, the legacy of a childhood and adolescence witnessing the most insidious domestic violence and being scarred for life by it, religion as a creative and unconscious means to tackle past trauma, I write about atheism, magic, and so much more… I share what I’m sure will be very controversial thoughts about Severus Snape, namely that he was in no need of “redemption,” and I write some very angry words (another thing that was dangerous and forbidden to me for most of my life: anger). What else was forbidden to me? Freedom. Self-determination. Self-affirmation. My eccentricity. “They painted you black: what of it?” Or, as Nietzsche put it, “The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen our evil as what is best in us.” Those with ears to hear, let them hear.

Yes: I am, once again, active on Dreamwidth, and not just a little but very.

In addition, I signed up for a fanfiction fest.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written fanfic, and even longer since I’ve written erotica.

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The mods emailed me yesterday shortly after I sent my prompt, and I’m good to go.

I have a title for the fic, and I’ve begun writing it. This is going to be fun…

It’s a Snape/Longbottom fic. Severus survived his encounter with Nagini, and Neville is more pleased than ever that he cut its head off with the sword. The kinks? Voyeurism, exhibitionism, masturbation. There will also be a strong psychological component to this story. I won’t say more, except one thing: Neville is a bit of a Black Phillip…

I’ll be doing a Masterful-related, “In the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods” photo shoot soon. I did, however, recently take a test shot of the new wig… and you can see a hint of the shimmering green cloak as well.

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Evening Envy Baphomet medallion available at Satanme, purveyors of the finest Satanic products online.

Speaking of fine things, here I am with my copy of Robert J. Leuthold’s dark erotic poetry collection, Obsidian Odes. Think De Sade meets Clive Barker, with a golden Baroque opulence.

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I have quite a few unique books by daring and gifted authors that I’ll be reviewing in the coming weeks/months. I’ve got much to keep up with at the moment.

Quite a lot ahead. Get ready. 2020 is going to be no holds barred.

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Masterful: first edit

It’s been a very active past couple of months here at Casa Logos.

Unseasonably cold weather, winter tires, plumbing situations, dentist appointments… There have been other major developments, though I’ve only shared them with my Patreon members, as is the case with many things for me online nowadays.

Social media wise, I only use Twitter at this point (apart from Undercroft, for those in the know); I do so on a limited basis as well. I finally quit Instagram because of its policies, which impede a free-flow of exchange and discourage participation in general (they prefer a mostly passive audience open to advertising), because of its censorial FB blandness, because of its maddening dumbphone-centric limitations, and because I’m utterly burned out on social media, thus much more selective of what will get my time and attention.

Less social media has resulted in my being more relaxed and happier. I write, read books, listen to records, watch movies… I do what I love, most of which is analog, tactile, and personally gratifying.

I’m tired of having technology pushed on me; I’m tired of its pervasive, relentless, invasive hunger and demands.

The other day, I went to the mall to get some errands done, and it was fun, even though the place was crowded. I enjoyed getting what I needed and watching clerks put my items in various bags. I enjoyed getting a new scarf at Roots and chatting with the person who helped me find what I was looking for (their scarves are thin, soft, and warm). I enjoyed walking around. I enjoyed placing my stuff in the car.

Masterful is finished: I am now in the midst of the first edit, usually the lengthier and more elaborate edit. This book has been longer in the making than anything I’ve written so far, and it’ll no doubt be my most satisfying book to date.

This week, the weather became a lot milder, and the snow that fell at the beginning of November has melted away, which I don’t mind at all.

In addition to working on my Masterful edit, I’ve enjoyed devoting myself to my 2019 70s Festive Extravaganza. There are gifts under the tree, After Eights in the dining room, and it’s all a source of immense pleasure to me.

I’ve also been adding Baphomet sigils to my collection of infernal jewelry, courtesy of the magnificent Satanme website. Their sigils, and all their products, are first class in every way.

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I will be ordering another beautiful black wig soon, and there will be devilish self-portraits (my Patreon Serpents will see them first, and in some cases, exclusively).

More Masterful news soon.

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the fruits of my work

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About my Patreon:

Upcoming topics on my members only platform: why I became a Satanist, and why I love Satanism. I’ll be writing about a variety of subjects, not Satanism per say, but this philosophy will underlie all that I write. For instance, how I live and deal with, and overcome, PTSD.

I write about why I collect toys, why I love the 70s; Total Environment principles are at work here. The temple to the self and its power, an increased power to live deliciously. I write about “practical selfishness” and its numerous benefits, such as health and happiness.

Self-respect is a topic I touch upon over and over. When you spent years exposed to domestic violence, a subconscious, malignant growth can be lodged in you: the “give them one more chance” syndrome. It was sound Satanic philosophy that made me aware of this problem, & its cure.

This brings another principle to the fore: deep personal awareness, which enables an individual to make the best possible choices and bring about whatever changes are required to improve one’s existence.

If what I write adds joy to people’s lives, this gives me pleasure and adds joy to my life. I do, however, write for those who have ears to hear. I know what it’s like to be isolated (which isn’t the same as sweet solitude), and shining a Luciferian light pleases and empowers me.

In the past, I made myself nothing as a survival strategy. Indeed, sometimes this is wise; blend into the background to elude those who would harm you. The time comes when a survival strategy is no longer the adequate response. It has become a reaction to a danger that’s gone.

So now, I write to completely uproot this toxic weed, and to foster the growth of the sturdy and beautiful flowers of self-reverence. I have my own garden, where I am my own god, having listened to the inner voice of true wisdom: “Eat of the fruit, and your eyes shall be opened.”

If others read my words & are encouraged to cultivate their own gardens in my vicinity, there’s more beauty in my world. How could I not derive immense pleasure from this? My joy is doubled. I write about the measures necessary to drive away pests & disease, to protect one’s joy.

I write to celebrate what I’ve accomplished, and to avenge myself on that which conspired to rob me of my self. With the assured, calm, and productive pride of the Infernal One, I say, “Get thee behind me, false god who comes like a miserable thief in the night. I cast thee out.”

Regarding Satanism: I became a member of the Church of Satan almost two years ago. A year ago, I applied for Active Membership, and my application was accepted. I received the official certificate and my first degree membership (not pictured) card last week.

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This represents many excellent and personally gratifying things to me. One of the things you could call it is my official, spectacular, and glorious divorce from Judeo-Christianity.

My Patreon, my business platform, my Society of Cunning Serpents, will now feature “a day in the life” posts, in which I’ll share “daily life” matters, and “The Prince of Serpents and his wisdom” short essays/monographs. The former will often be public, the latter, for the most part, Members Only.

Masterful will be released in October.

More news soon.

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Masterful: completion nears

I have begun writing part six of six, which is entitled “he wasn’t yours: sublime serpent, come forth.”

As I get closer to finishing Masterful: Severus Snape, a Jar of Cockroaches, and Me, my most gratifying and important work to date, I am filled with exhilaration and a sense of personal triumph.

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This book is the culmination of the past fifteen years of my life. In a broader sense, however, it’s been a lifetime in the making.

This book is a Snape-infused memoir. I write about Severus Snape in a way that has never been done before, in a bold and often shocking manner. As one person who’s read the first draft has said, “It left me speechless.” She also said, “There are so many people I want to recommend your book to” and “Gives me so much to think about. Again, wow.”

In this book, I also write about living with PTSD, about the legacy of domestic violence, which is what I witnessed during my entire childhood and adolescence, about leaving Judeo-Christianity and Orthodoxy in particular, about revering oneself, about emancipation and personal power, about saying “no” to bullshit, about putting one’s existence and what one loves first and foremost. I write about having an infernal worldview, about the symbolic light-bearer and his (our) “live deliciously” stance.

I am no-holds-barred in this book. And I’m just getting started. There will be another Snape-themed book after this one.

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My Patreon continues to grow, to my immense joy. I’ve spent the past year refining it, and now it’s precisely what I want it to be. Once Masterful is published, I’ll be spending a great deal of time writing essays for it: infernal thoughts for infernal people. A few of these will be public, but the majority will be Members Only.

One of the excellent people who recently became a member is my longtime friend and extremely talented artist Ben Wu, who just started his own Patreon. I highly recommend you join it, and mine as well.

Ben Wu Loves You: is creating Letters, zines, books, and a little bit of chaos

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Logospilgrimis creating infernal books, essays, and art for discerning individualists

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Ben really gets what Patreon is all about. As he wrote to me, “Having experienced the Patreon venue through your page opened my eyes. It is more intimate and helps me be in the moment. Unlike the endless memes and static of facebook and instagram. Both of which, too, have rules that make it hard to be seen without having to pay them for a sponseres spot.”

I’m still unable to comment and like IG posts from my desktop, and my disgust with that platform is absolute. Unlike what they claim, it isn’t designed to be “social media.” In actuality, it’s an inherently passive exposure to advertisement: if you participate “too much” or “too quickly,” you’re not doing what they want you to, namely, providing the free content that enables them to determine the advertisement you’re supposed to stare at and respond to, you’re troublesome, expendable; content and activity that doesn’t fall within “good consumer” parameters is undesirable.

Furthermore, they have no respect for their users whatsoever. If you “break” one of their so-called rules, if you don’t dance according to their tune (whatever it even is), they don’t contact you, they won’t tell you how you dared to offend them, and contacting a living person at IG is impossible. When I was researching the matter, I saw countless people desperate to get their accounts back, or desperately trying to figure out why they were blocked from commenting. The advice they got was along the lines of, “whatever you do, don’t upset the mighty IG further. Just be good, stop doing anything at all there for a while, cower a bit, and hope you’ll eventually regain their favor.” If you’re not what advertisers prefer, you might as well not exist.

It’s enough to make you want to throw up. As I wrote on Twitter, I don’t like being treated like shit as a rule, so they can suck my balls.

Just when I thought I couldn’t despise FB more, lo, I despise it more.

It’s very likely that I’ll delete my IG account in the not too distant future.

As a result of all this, I’ve been using Twitter more. As nutty as Twitter can be, it’s less restrictive. It’s possible to make lists there, it’s easy to block problematic people instantly, it’s much easier to have exchanges, there’s less censorship. The most eccentric and creative people tend to be on Twitter.

My main focus will increasingly be my Patreon.

As Ben wrote to me, “You’ve given a lot of yourself through your writing and art and I have, too. I think folks would probably appreciate things more if they pay in some way.” I couldn’t agree more. I’ve shared my work, my writing, my life, for over a decade. It was time for a platform like Patreon for me. I am worth what I do and give. In Ben’s words, “I’m glad your Patreon helped give you the encouragement needed. It means a lot to have visible, tangible evidence of people’s faith in you and what you do.”

Masterful wouldn’t have come into being without all the changes I’ve been through, without the evolution that now gives me the ability to say, “My work, my time, my creativity have value, and I won’t settle for anything less than respect and appreciation.”

The more I grasped this and esteemed myself, the more I defined my Patreon, my goals for it, and what I wanted to share there. When I was going through some of the most difficult times of my life these past couple of years, it was Patreon that kept my eyes on the prize of writing and publishing new books, of creating. Of asserting and affirming myself.

I have emerged from my recent trials a fiercer, stronger, more passionate and determined individual, and my work is reflecting this. If those who read what I write are fiercer and have more reverence for themselves because of my words, all the better. Responsibility to the responsible.

Those who contribute to my time, efforts, and endeavors will fully savor the forbidden fruit of my time, efforts, and endeavors. Those who enjoy what I do, who participate and contribute, I treasure. At another time in my life, I would have thought, “How dare I ask for such things?” but now, I dare. Millions of dollars are poured into the coffers of the bland mega corporations of mass entertainment; a dollar per month basic access fee for my original, risqué, innovative content, for my dark magic, is definitely more than fair. It’s a fine privilege.

For a number of years, I let myself be an All You Can Eat Buffet; now, I’m devoting myself to my VIPs. I still give, but I ask as well. Hail Satan!

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There’s no place online like Patreon now, and that’s where the bulk of my online activity is.

As Ben puts it, “When IG cut its shine and I checked out your Patreon… as I said above, it changed me and I felt like I’d found a pleasantly wicked corner of the internet, a place to hang my horns, and I haven’t felt that way in years.” This mirrors my feelings about Patreon exactly.

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Do you know what feels good? Not taking shit. Knowing your worth. Knowing who’s good for you. Being your best self and living your best life.

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Masterful: halfway mark achieved

Things are pretty damn good.

First, my 50th birthday was splendid. Presents, buttercream laden cake, quiet activities that gave my introvert self the greatest pleasure.

I took many portraits to commemorate this event. I had fun with wigs, undergarments, Mozartian and Snapian themes.

And now I’m going to share a bunch of them.

I am 50, hear me roar. Wearing a gorgeous polished silver Baphomet sigil by iSatanist.

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I do the boy thing, I do the girl thing. I do my thing.

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I do the Snape thing. Here wearing my robes, as well as a fine Bone White Baphomet sigil by Satanme.

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I do the Mozart thing. Betsey Johnson undergarments.

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Here with a fabulous inverted pentagram, also available from Satanme (one side red, the other black, perfect for my disco lifestyle).

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I have fun these days. More fun than I’ve ever had. I do what I want, how I want.

I’m fairly recovered from the flooding mayhem of last spring. Today, the river levels are at 57.98. We’re approaching August, one of my favorite months of the year because everything is so slow and quiet; that’s also when one can sense autumn around the corner… This month, we endured several intense heat waves (yesterday, with the humidex factor, we hit close to 115º Fahrenheit—madness. Thank fuck we have central air conditioning in this house).

Still, I feel really, really good.

Yesterday, I hit the halfway mark re: Masterful. Working on this book is so phenomenally satisfying… My most personally gratifying work to date. As I wrote on Twitter, “I write because it gives me pleasure, because it’s in my blood. If my work also helps like-minded individuals live deliciously, all the better.”

I’m not fucking around in this book, let me tell you.

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After I publish Masterful in September, I’m getting back to work on Wolfgang, A Fantasy, and I can’t wait. Apart from Wolfgang and Antonio Salieri (among others), this novel will feature the Gentleman Downstairs who will do wondrous things, and a grim Archbishop (guess which one) who will try to do terrible things.

Favorite drinking vessel, by Satanme, here featured with an exquisite statue of Lucifer the Light-Bearer.

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Stay tuned for more deliciousness.

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Masterful: September

I will soon be halfway through the first draft of Masterful.

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The book is flowing. This is one of my most satisfying writing projects up to now.

The other day, I took test photos of my new Snape wig. I hacked away at it with scissors for a while before I began snapping pictures to see how the wig would look on camera, and I experimented with light.

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Mystery is the quintessence of Severus Snape, the Prince of Snakes.

A real photo session will take place soon. It’s been years since my friend Diane and I did a shoot featuring the robes.

I haven’t been crafting much; it’s time consuming, and my time is currently devoted to the book, recuperation, relaxing on the front porch with a journal, doing a few select things with a few select people every now and then, a small circle of friends, because I honor my need for introversion and tranquility more than I ever have. I enjoy the times I spend with those close to me, but I need long periods of solitary home quietude between those times, and that’s perfectly fine.

I said in a previous post, “it’s not all about writing for me now,” though it is—and not. Because I also take care of myself now, I take care to relax, to have my life, as it were. I write, I savor the process, then I stop, I sink into the couch, watch movies, enjoy my pleasant surroundings. I have excellent, wonderful meals and riveting discussions with my beloved spouse who’s as introverted as I am. I add more toys to my collection and delight in them.

Be important to yourself, treat yourself well, with respect, honor yourself, and you will live a good life.

These days, I’m living my best life.

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