a new focus

Well, here we are in May, and things haven’t changed much since I last updated my website.

Mr P is still home, he won’t be going back to work (restaurant) until… June? Which suits me just fine, seeing how my mental health, what’s left of it I mean, is basically down the toilet. So self-care, self-preservation are my number one concern. Me and my own, that’s it.

My PTSD-related vocal cord dysfunction is worse than ever, but fortunately I have little interest in speaking.

I don’t want to leave the house, I don’t want to be around roughly 90% of people. Especially since for some, the very concept of social distancing apparently requires a degree in Engineering.

Most people have no grasp of personal space at the best of times. But then, we live in an age when people have to ask if drinking bleach is a good idea. “Staying home is communism!”

So, misanthropy as a general life principle and attitude is working out great for Mr P and me. Hail Satan. I am the master of my life in spite of everything.

Speaking of misanthropy and social distancing, here are some excellent sources for face masks:

Plague But Make It Fashion (gorgeous, fun, finely crafted masks)

Dandy Serenity (cats and groovy sea creatures on Red Bubble)

And here are more first-rate tools for social distancing: Satanme‘s glorious, scintillating glitter medallions (of course I had to start with disco gold, the Sulfur medallion):

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And here I am modelling it.

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As for me, my focus is all about art and home.

I have fallen head over heels in love with alcohol inks. The perfect medium, in my opinion.

When I did a lot of art many years ago, my subject matter was mainly portraits. Since this whole horrid situation began and I rediscovered art as a relaxation method, I rediscovered it as a passion as well, and surreal, colorful, dreamy worlds with small figures are my subject matter of choice.

Once it was clear that I mainly wanted to create at home, and be home even more than I already was, I felt better. Tranquil, floaty music, incense, art, my 70s home lair… This is what works best for me. The only places I want to frequent (when the batshit calms down months from now) are small local shops, galleries, art gatherings. And local is a key word here.

Ideas for art pieces are coming at me so fast and hard I can barely keep up.

At some point this summer, I’ll have prints available, and original art.

When I began experimenting, I used colored pencils because that’s what I had. Also they’re fun to work with.

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Then I did some research about water color effects on canvas, and that’s when I discovered the wonder of alcohol ink. First, I used Sharpies diluted with a bit of alcohol… A revelation. I adored it. I did a first test painting (8X10) with Hoppy Bun.

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Here is the painting in its new home:

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Of course, my Patreon members got all the news first. They see sketches, illustrations, etc before anyone else does as a rule. Then I share some of it on Instagram and Twitter.

Oh, and while I’m on the topic of having a new focus, after a brief “getting back” on Dreamwidth and Livejournal, I’m done with those platforms. It’s simply not worth the trouble, time, or energy. I have vastly better things to do.

While I waited for my order of alcohol inks to arrive, I did another colored pencil illustration. Strawberry Island, 8X11.5 inches.

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This is the next illustration, which I drew a day or two before my inks arrived. Cherry Balloon.

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Fruit, clouds, mountainous hills, water and cream, sunshine, rainbows, hearts, chocolate, sweets… All of these will be recurring elements in my artwork. As well, structures with many tiny rooms.

My pieces will usually be around 8X10, 10X12, 16X20… Not bigger than that.

By the way, I give you alcohol inks:

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Where has this medium been all my life??

Yesterday, I started to wonder what my Serpent Prince would look like if I devoted some of my surreal worlds to him… And I drew this small figure (sketch book is around 5X7).

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He’ll be getting paintings of his own. I want to paint him pumpkin homes filled with little magical rooms… All sorts of things. Hoppy Bun and Serpent Prince will be my artistic inspirations for the foreseeable future.

I want to create trippy, dreamy, magical, tranquil images.

My other artistic focus: clay. More soon on that. Let’s just say that my little clay bunny has been working his talisman magic on me for a couple of years… Now I’m creating things that give me tremendous joy and satisfaction.

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I write mostly for myself now, and for my Patreon members. New books will be fewer and much farther between. Besides, I said pretty much all I wanted to say in Rascal and Masterful… There is the possibility of short, quirky, first person memoiresque novels. We’ll see. And Mozart… I’ll get back to him and Salieri, perhaps this fall. Possibly.

In many ways, I’m actually doing better than I ever have. I’ve dotted the “i”s and drawn a line in the sand. I know exactly what I want to devote myself to, how and where I want to do it. And I won’t apologize for any of it either.

I am living what I wrote about in Masterful.

Live for yourself and for all that you love. Everything falls together for you then. Even if it takes a while, it is eminently worth the growth and struggle. The fruit of epiphany awaits the valiant individual. Those with ears to hear, let them hear.

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Masterful release: January 27

I’m in the final editing stages, almost done.

Masterful will be released on January 27.

I wrote these words about it on Dreamwidth yesterday:

I am extremely proud of my upcoming book, Masterful: Severus Snape, a Jar of Cockroaches, and Me, for so many, many reasons. As I’ve said before, this book is a kind of philosophical memoir wherein I share thoughts about Professor Snape, my emancipation process, sexual identity, PTSD, the legacy of a childhood and adolescence witnessing the most insidious domestic violence and being scarred for life by it, religion as a creative and unconscious means to tackle past trauma, I write about atheism, magic, and so much more… I share what I’m sure will be very controversial thoughts about Severus Snape, namely that he was in no need of “redemption,” and I write some very angry words (another thing that was dangerous and forbidden to me for most of my life: anger). What else was forbidden to me? Freedom. Self-determination. Self-affirmation. My eccentricity. “They painted you black: what of it?” Or, as Nietzsche put it, “The great epochs of our life come when we gain the courage to rechristen our evil as what is best in us.” Those with ears to hear, let them hear.

Yes: I am, once again, active on Dreamwidth, and not just a little but very.

In addition, I signed up for a fanfiction fest.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written fanfic, and even longer since I’ve written erotica.

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The mods emailed me yesterday shortly after I sent my prompt, and I’m good to go.

I have a title for the fic, and I’ve begun writing it. This is going to be fun…

It’s a Snape/Longbottom fic. Severus survived his encounter with Nagini, and Neville is more pleased than ever that he cut its head off with the sword. The kinks? Voyeurism, exhibitionism, masturbation. There will also be a strong psychological component to this story. I won’t say more, except one thing: Neville is a bit of a Black Phillip…

I’ll be doing a Masterful-related, “In the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods” photo shoot soon. I did, however, recently take a test shot of the new wig… and you can see a hint of the shimmering green cloak as well.

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Evening Envy Baphomet medallion available at Satanme, purveyors of the finest Satanic products online.

Speaking of fine things, here I am with my copy of Robert J. Leuthold’s dark erotic poetry collection, Obsidian Odes. Think De Sade meets Clive Barker, with a golden Baroque opulence.

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I have quite a few unique books by daring and gifted authors that I’ll be reviewing in the coming weeks/months. I’ve got much to keep up with at the moment.

Quite a lot ahead. Get ready. 2020 is going to be no holds barred.

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Masterful: first edit

It’s been a very active past couple of months here at Casa Logos.

Unseasonably cold weather, winter tires, plumbing situations, dentist appointments… There have been other major developments, though I’ve only shared them with my Patreon members, as is the case with many things for me online nowadays.

Social media wise, I only use Twitter at this point (apart from Undercroft, for those in the know); I do so on a limited basis as well. I finally quit Instagram because of its policies, which impede a free-flow of exchange and discourage participation in general (they prefer a mostly passive audience open to advertising), because of its censorial FB blandness, because of its maddening dumbphone-centric limitations, and because I’m utterly burned out on social media, thus much more selective of what will get my time and attention.

Less social media has resulted in my being more relaxed and happier. I write, read books, listen to records, watch movies… I do what I love, most of which is analog, tactile, and personally gratifying.

I’m tired of having technology pushed on me; I’m tired of its pervasive, relentless, invasive hunger and demands.

The other day, I went to the mall to get some errands done, and it was fun, even though the place was crowded. I enjoyed getting what I needed and watching clerks put my items in various bags. I enjoyed getting a new scarf at Roots and chatting with the person who helped me find what I was looking for (their scarves are thin, soft, and warm). I enjoyed walking around. I enjoyed placing my stuff in the car.

Masterful is finished: I am now in the midst of the first edit, usually the lengthier and more elaborate edit. This book has been longer in the making than anything I’ve written so far, and it’ll no doubt be my most satisfying book to date.

This week, the weather became a lot milder, and the snow that fell at the beginning of November has melted away, which I don’t mind at all.

In addition to working on my Masterful edit, I’ve enjoyed devoting myself to my 2019 70s Festive Extravaganza. There are gifts under the tree, After Eights in the dining room, and it’s all a source of immense pleasure to me.

I’ve also been adding Baphomet sigils to my collection of infernal jewelry, courtesy of the magnificent Satanme website. Their sigils, and all their products, are first class in every way.

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I will be ordering another beautiful black wig soon, and there will be devilish self-portraits (my Patreon Serpents will see them first, and in some cases, exclusively).

More Masterful news soon.

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Masterful: halfway mark achieved

Things are pretty damn good.

First, my 50th birthday was splendid. Presents, buttercream laden cake, quiet activities that gave my introvert self the greatest pleasure.

I took many portraits to commemorate this event. I had fun with wigs, undergarments, Mozartian and Snapian themes.

And now I’m going to share a bunch of them.

I am 50, hear me roar. Wearing a gorgeous polished silver Baphomet sigil by iSatanist.

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I do the boy thing, I do the girl thing. I do my thing.

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I do the Snape thing. Here wearing my robes, as well as a fine Bone White Baphomet sigil by Satanme.

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I do the Mozart thing. Betsey Johnson undergarments.

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Here with a fabulous inverted pentagram, also available from Satanme (one side red, the other black, perfect for my disco lifestyle).

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I have fun these days. More fun than I’ve ever had. I do what I want, how I want.

I’m fairly recovered from the flooding mayhem of last spring. Today, the river levels are at 57.98. We’re approaching August, one of my favorite months of the year because everything is so slow and quiet; that’s also when one can sense autumn around the corner… This month, we endured several intense heat waves (yesterday, with the humidex factor, we hit close to 115º Fahrenheit—madness. Thank fuck we have central air conditioning in this house).

Still, I feel really, really good.

Yesterday, I hit the halfway mark re: Masterful. Working on this book is so phenomenally satisfying… My most personally gratifying work to date. As I wrote on Twitter, “I write because it gives me pleasure, because it’s in my blood. If my work also helps like-minded individuals live deliciously, all the better.”

I’m not fucking around in this book, let me tell you.

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Green Crocodile Alien Skin Dinosaur Reptile Leather Texture Pattern Background

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After I publish Masterful in September, I’m getting back to work on Wolfgang, A Fantasy, and I can’t wait. Apart from Wolfgang and Antonio Salieri (among others), this novel will feature the Gentleman Downstairs who will do wondrous things, and a grim Archbishop (guess which one) who will try to do terrible things.

Favorite drinking vessel, by Satanme, here featured with an exquisite statue of Lucifer the Light-Bearer.

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Stay tuned for more deliciousness.

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