new project

Welcome to the fondue party, everyone.

So, it’s almost the end of August. Which is great. I’m really looking forward to autumn… Spring and summer this year: exhausting as fuck, mostly because of the loony weather. It’s nice and cool today, and this feels fantastic.

Hit the Road: I’m not anywhere near having finished this book, BUT I will have a new book out soon.

I’ve begun a new project, and I’m quite excited about it.

It involves a series of short books, 36 pages in length, one per month. It’s like a kind of literary magazine or something.

Here’s the blurb:

Logospilgrim, prolific writer and disco tomboy, has embarked upon a series of short books that will be released on a monthly basis. She shares candid, maverick thoughts about the small joys of life, being who you are, personal freedom, and much more in her unique, unapologetic stay home vagabond poet style. These books are the written equivalent of instant photographs. Join her on the road to nowhere and everywhere.

And here’s the cover of the first issue, titled The Corner Store Epiphany:

CSEfullcvr.jpg

I went for a simple, 70s-inspired look. I’m thinking that the front cover colors, and the back cover photograph, will change each year. Haha, I’m already hopeful this project will endure for years… I think it just might, though. This is the first time I’ve written exactly what I wanted to write, and it felt wonderful working on this short book. I’m already looking forward to the next one. Same cover, different title.

The August 2017 issue is available on lulu, and will be available on Amazon as well in a few weeks. It’s only available in print form, in keeping with the spirit of this series.

Allow me to reiterate how good I feel about this project. As usual, I’m unsure whether it’s crap or not, but whatever. Doing it anyway. Doing it my way.

My writing in a nutshell:

dessertsalad70s.jpg

I’m still pretty worn out re: this whole year. Fortunately, I’m much, much better at taking care of myself.

My record collection keeps expanding. I’ve got Heaven 17 on the way, more disco, more New Wave. Vinyl rules so hard. Every time I go to one of the local record stores, there’s more vinyl, new and old. This thrills me to no end.

xanaduST.jpg

Digital can be useful, but it can’t be everything. I think the hawkers of digital (“enjoy your convenient nothing”) are realizing it can’t be everything. For the most part, digital can blow me, to be perfectly blunt.

I’ve rediscovered the absolute joy of portable radios. That wondrous “tinny” sound transports me right back to days when songs like Born to Be Alive were new. Last night, I was working on something or other, and Funkytown came on a fave local station: my heart skipped a beat. Streaming simply does not compare.

My small Sony AM FM portable radio will be joined by a Panasonic AM FM radio (that I’ll be able to plug in), and a pocket Philips AM FM radio that’ll go in my Fjallraven backpack.

Bags are happiness.

FjallravenSand.jpg

And check out these sweet vintage Snoopy plates… Snoopy is everything.

snoopy70splates.jpg

I am still working on a photocopied zine too. Thinking it might be a bi-monthly or quarterly thing, because they take more time to produce…

inprogressPZ1.jpg

Which reminds of another recent old love: instant photography. My Instax 9 fills me with pure ecstasy. Every time a small semi-fuzzy photograph emerges from the top of the camera, I want to do a little dance.

Here’s a photo I took the other day. 80s tomboy, baby.

LPBCtomboy.jpg

Speaking of the 80s, I can’t wait to get my hands on this thing of beauty:

gaston2018.jpg

Gaston forever. Agendas are my happy place.

So, all in all, everything’s good. I’m creating, resting, taking a fatigue/stress tonic, enjoying my life and my home. Not putting up with bullshit. Doing what I need to do to live with PTSD: setting limits, reinforcing my barriers, giving priority to all that is helpful to me, gives me relief, and allows me to cope with life in general. I’m more and more aware of what I want and don’t want, what’s good for me and what harms me. I know that when I’m confronted with situations that are even remotely similar to original traumas, the “off” switch to sky-high stress reactions just doesn’t work. You could even say that it’s not there; it doesn’t exist. I calm myself by avoiding such situations as much as possible, by going into hyper-arousal mode when they occur (“bug out bag” syndrome), and by requiring extensive periods of recovery afterwards. That’s how it is.

Sometimes, by going numb. This does still happen, though it’s not as severe as when I was a teenager.

Oh, and by writing. Especially by writing. As a friend recently put it, self-expression is self-preservation.

I’ve been giving myself permission to say “no” to shit that is particularly damaging to me.

As a result, I feel good. I can function. I can be happy.

I am finally living life on my own terms.

Say cheese.

LOGOS

Advertisements

the state of me

Kind readers,

what a world, eh? Apparently, many are embracing a feverish “let’s give fascism a chance” mindset; good luck with that.

I’d like to hope that we’re witnessing the rancid and apoplectic death throes of conservatism everywhere. They’re displaying the nastiest they have to offer for all the world to see, without a doubt. And I’ve certainly never abhorred evangelical christianity (and religion in general) more than I do now, which is saying something.

Fuck, this shit is exhausting, though. I doubt I’ll be watching the news much over the next four years, because on the rare occasions I’ve done so this past week, I felt ill and wound up thinking things like “If all else fails, there’s always a bottle of pills.” So yeah. PTSD hell for sure. It’s been a while since I had thoughts like that. I’ll be taking care of myself (I’m through treating myself like a damn second thought), and doing the one thing I CAN do, which is writing. This is how I fight. And stay alive.

If anyone has a problem with this, my response is, tell me again how I should live my life.

A lot of books ahead.

Also, the pile of Festivus toys and gifts I’m currently amassing will make last year’s pile look like a little bump.

If you’d like to know how Quietus went, take a look here. In a nutshell: it was magical.

Quietus16group2md.jpg

Quietus10.jpg

I’m really not sure I’ll be doing this again. It was wonderful, but it took a whole lot out of me. Maybe in a couple of years, I’ll change my mind, but… I don’t know that I will. As it is, I’m definitely not going to MISTI. Not only am I tired, but I have no intention of visiting a country run by a sociopathic demagogue. Also, the big fandom conventions and all that… I’m at a point in my life where I’m moving on from this. I’ve been to Convention Alley twice, to Witching Hour, to Lumos, Prophecy, Infinitus, Aeternitas, Ascendio, to MISTI twice… Only three times did I not go to an event I’d planned to attend: Phoenix Rising, Leviosa (I was supposed to speak, and let them know six months in advance I wouldn’t be going), and now MISTI 2017.

I’m done. It’s enough. I was so drained during MISTI 2015, I think I was coming to the realization that a chapter of my life was ending.

My final HP fandom contribution, if I may call it that way, will be my book Severus Snape and the Art of Being Human. It won’t be so much a fandom thing, or an analysis of Professor Snape, but more like the story of how he helped me get through many changes and upheavals, right up to my secular present. It’s going to be a celebration of being human.

My enjoyment of Harry Potter is more a personal thing than a fandom thing these days. As I’ve mentioned in a previous post, the “Fantastic Beasts” trailers fail to rouse my interest; if anything, I find them tedious and boring. “How many more billions can we squeeze out of this thing?”

I’d much rather add to my toy collection, read about Tiki culture and 70s kitsch, and write more books.

I’ve also moved on from Livejournal.

You can find me here, on Twitter, Instagram, and Imzy. I’ll be writing personal posts on Apostate Island.

Here’s a Twitter friend, Kaxas11, with her copies of my latest books:

kaxas11tikihula.jpg

Supportive photos like these are always phenomenally appreciated.

Right now, I’ll be focusing on Hit the Road and Be Who You Are and My Merry Secular Holiday.

Another thing: is peri-menopause a bucket of fun, or what. I was a month late this month; so, skipped a month for the first time ever, and it’s hit me like a fucking sledgehammer, let me tell you. I need more pain medication even as I write this. And a nap. Lately, when I have to do an errand or whatever, I’ll just pull on a fresh pair of trunks, throw on some jeans, get my grubby hoodied self over to the store, grab what I need, and rush back home. I just don’ts care. Ya knows?

So anyway, thank you for playing! And remember, Elvis loves you.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

e-Book edition of Atheist Tiki Hour now available

Kind readers,

although the PR and festivities will only really kick off once the print edition of Atheist Tiki Hour becomes available in a few days, the e-Book version went live last night, and I thought I’d share this with you.

Here is the first page (courtesy of a Twitter friend who loved the book), with the glorious Atheist Republic logo above my name. This does something to me that I can’t quite put into words. I am incredibly grateful to Armin and Casper for believing in my work and publishing my book.

arlogoath

If you’d like a copy of the e-Book, please click on the cover below:

athcvrmd

If you enjoy the book, please leave a review on Amazon—even a line or two would be extremely helpful, and profoundly appreciated.

When the book hits 50 reviews, Amazon will greatly increase its visibility. This would truly be one of the most fantastic things that have ever happened to me. It would encourage me more than I can express.

Also, your kindness will support not only me, but the important organization that is Atheist Republic as well. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my book and telling others about it.

sept30lp1md

sept30lp14md

I’m going to have to rest this afternoon. Fortunately, there are excellent horror films all month on Turner Classic Movies 🙂

As soon as the print edition is available, I will be letting you know!

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

living, shining, writing

Kind readers,

things have been peaceful and quiet, and after the hard winter we had here, tranquility has felt so very sweet and revivifying.

As soon as I have news about when Atheist Tiki Hour will be released, I’ll let you know! I will be drinking a few celebratory beverages when this happens, I can tell you that.

In the meantime, I’ve been working on a new book. It wasn’t on my list of projects, but it popped inside my head and I had to start writing it immediately.

Cafe Sign and Old Car on Route 66

It’s going to be a short book, less than a hundred pages; probably around eighty.

In fact, I now have a bunch of short books on my upcoming titles list; so far, three (apart from Hit the Road), and they’ll all be around thirty-five pages. One of them is linked to my other website, Apostate Island.

Retro Hawaiian Luau Party Seamless Pattern Background

These books have a square format, which will be fun. Another one is titled Be Weird: An Oddball Manifesto. The third is going to be about celebrating a secular holiday season.

As I began writing Hit the Road, I felt more relaxed than I’d ever felt while working on a writing project. Maybe I’m starting to feel more confident, or to worry less about what the book will turn into or whether it’ll be well-received or not. You can’t make everyone happy anyway… Might as well do what you enjoy.

And then there’s this: I’m much happier now that I’m a secular, humanist, atheist person than I ever was during my religious years.

I am letting myself live, and shine. And I’m not putting up with bullshit.

smoothlogos

Needless to say, I’ll still be writing Severus Snape and the Art of Being Human and The Rollicking Adventures of an Unrepentant Tomboy! Indeed, Hit the Road has helped me figure out precisely what the focus of Unrepentant Tomboy will be, so yay.

In other news, it would be accurate to say that I’ve now stopped blogging on Livejournal and have moved on to Imzy, where I’ve been very happy. I’ve been reconnecting with loved ones there, and Twitter friends have been joining me there as well, and it’s so vibrant. The people at Imzy are so receptive and enthused, and they’ve been working non-stop on making the site as awesome as it can be.

I continue to collect and accumulate toys toys toys. I often share photos of new toys on Instagram.

I’ve also been reveling in my love of 70s decor and hideously magnificent 70s kitsch in general. Yesterday, I acquired this book and I absolutely cannot wait to get my hands on it:

interiordesecrations

So, life has been excellent!

Oh, and I’ve also begun recording the song I’ll be singing on that upcoming Rubber Clown Car I’ve told you about in previous posts. I’m going to send them several versions, and they’ll pick the one they like best. Tralala.

Next week, I’ll be getting Halloween treats for Quietus attendees.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

you can find me in the bar

Kind readers,

I’ve been quite busy, but I’m not rushed or feeling overwhelmed.

Which is good 🙂

I’m a lot smarter about not treating myself like garbage these days.

Atheist Tiki Hour will be finished at the start of July. I’m three quarters through the book.

In a couple of days, I’ll be giving the down payment for the Quietus 2016 event room. I’m very much looking forward to this intimate gathering of friends.

I’m tweeting a lot.

I just put a new website together, and I’ll be spending a lot of time blogging there:

apostateislandws

New photos of my refurbished office here. Finally got around to doing that, though I used my smart phone.

I want to see The Conjuring 2 because it looks hilarious. They’re already saying that a spinoff featuring the “demonic nun” character will be made, and that sounds even more hilarious.

In conclusion:

apostateisland2

In the very depths of my mind, I’m toying, ever so slightly, with the notion of doing an Apostate Island podcast in the distant future.

I probably need to get completely drunk so this notion is erased from my mind forever.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Levitical Prohibition & Jimmy crack corn

moving in perfect peace and harmony towards Elvisness

Kind readers,

after a few weeks of glorious warmth, we’re back to crap weather in my neck of the woods. My fingers are not quite like ice again, but it’s close. I’m using the sleeves of my sweater to cover my hands up to the first knuckles. It’s supposed to warm up again by the middle of next week…

Ah, well. I’ll be writing all the more this weekend.

Speaking of writing, I’m halfway through Atheist Tiki Hour. It’s going well—I think! Anyway, I’m happy writing it.

In other news, the terrific comic strip artist The Atheist Pig loves There’s a Hula Girl on my Dashboard. That made me smile from ear to ear. He’s sent me a copy of his book and I can’t wait to get my hands on it.

twitter3june16

I’ve found out that there’s a Tiki bar in Toronto, The Shameful Tiki Room (what a name!). I have got to get my ass over there.

Then there’s this:

twitter1june16

Yesterday evening, I created a t-shirt with my face on it—why the fuck not—and added the words “Levitical Prohibition” beneath. Because that’s what I am. Tattooed, dressed in masculine clothes, non-binary, apostate, unbeliever, secular, and I really don’t give a shit about Bronze Age admonitions from volcano god worshipers.

The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.

Like I said, the volcano god.

Click on the photo if you want a shirt! I’ll be adding more fun t-shirts to my shop this week.

zazLPtshirt

I have a meeting with the event organizer at the Ramada Ottawa in a couple of weeks. I’ll be booking the Quietus 2016 room, signing the papers, giving the down payment…

The moment I’ve finished writing Atheist Tiki Hour, I’ll start Severus Snape and the Art of Being Human. It would be fantastic if I had that book done in time for Quietus. I have a lot to say; there are many things I want to write about in Art of Being Human.

I’m feeling more and more detached from Livejournal. It makes me blue, especially on days when I’m tired… I have joyful times on Twitter, interact with people there, and increasingly on Instagram as well. I blog here. That’s good. Livejournal feels like it’s gone, and I find myself thinking, you know what, I’m done. I read other people’s entries—there aren’t that many these days—and I don’t know if I want to update mine anymore. I feel like the Dude; I’m lying on my rug and listening to bowling balls strike pins, and Jimmy crack corn and I don’t care.

dudecaucasian

The other day, I got “Sodas & Shakes” scented Crayola markers, because they’re just so darn happy.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was released thirty years ago today. Let my Cameron go.

All right! It’s writing time.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

Coconut Atheist trilogy

Kind readers,

I’ve been hard at work on Atheist Tiki Hour. Finally.

To fight my anxiety, impostor syndrome, and procrastination, I devised a note card and writer’s planner reward system that has been working most effectively. The plane hasn’t quite left the runway yet, but takeoff is imminent.

There’s nothing like filling out cards, and nicely organized planners, to make me forget about my worries. “Am I writing crap?” “Someone’s going to read this, I can’t even.” What if this, what if that. The note cards distract me from these crippling thoughts fairly well.

I also had another idea. There’s a Hula Girl on my Dashboard: How I Left Faith Behind and Embraced Life and Atheist Tiki Hour: Your Guide to a Secular Blast are going to be part of a trilogy. The third book will be called Heathen’s Hideaway: Living God Free.

Naturally, I designed a spiffy cover for it.

heathenshideawaymd

All three of these books will illustrate my particular brand of atheism, which I’ve termed Coconut Atheism. I write about my joyful atheist life. I’m writing from the point of view of an ex-Christian and an apostate. I don’t go into great detail about why religion doesn’t work, why the so-called holy texts are flawed and nonsensical and contradictory, or about why evolution (for instance) is a fact; there are already many excellent books written on these topics.

My books will be about how my new life as an atheist is simply filled with joy. I write about my deliverance. I write about intellectual and personal freedom, in the sense that my life isn’t dominated by ancient myths, regressive and debilitating and downright cruel “divine” commands, or absurd, thought-stifling woo.

I write about having a finite existence, and how I’m content with that. Much more than that, I’m grateful and at peace and fully alive.

It’s a funny thing, being a primate with a large “oh how it fucks with you” brain. It’s funny and fun. I write about silliness. I write whatever comes to my mind.

I write about sadness, too. I write that it’s okay to be sad. Believers are sad too, and I speak from experience. Atheists don’t need to put up with being told that if only they believed, they’d be happy. Because obviously, atheists are miserable unhappy fucks, right? They “deny” the one true whatever. This is why I write about atheist joy, about the glorious moment of life that we have.

In other news, my new suit is on its way, and there will be asexy photos at some point once it’s arrived.

I recorded a test song with my beautiful Blue Nessie microphone.

I believe I’ll be recording a Roy Orbison song next.

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor

free living

Kind readers,

the weather is finally going to warm up this week! Twenty degrees Celsius by Friday! I could cry with joy.

Or skip and dance!

Charpliespringdance

Yesterday, I designed a new business card.

LPnewbizcard16

I’d like to thank everyone who’s been buying and reading copies of There’s a Hula Girl on my Dashboard: How I Left Faith Behind and Embraced Life and Outlaw in the Land of Perfection lately. I wish I could hand out a free Martini with each purchase 🙂

As I’ve mentioned before, the main character in Outlaw, apostate Kristopher Silverheart, is a vague theist in the first book, but by the third, she’ll be a secular humanist. The Outlaw series is about liberation, the struggle for free thinking and free living.

On that note, I’ll continue working on Atheist Tiki Hour today. With the window open!

It’s taken me longer than I thought it would to write that book. I’ve been stalling. Winter was hard and extremely stressful this year; I hadn’t been that stressed out in a while. Also, the thought that this book may result in more exposure freaks me out completely, I think *laughs* It’s not a fear of more people knowing that I’m an atheist or anything like that; it has more with my usual fear of, I don’t know… Success? The whole, “How can people like what I do, am I a hack” thing? Anyway, the fear is fading. I’m, uh, feeling more confident, or less worried. I’ve been a lot more relaxed these past few weeks as well.

So, onward and upward.

Oh, and here’s another relevant thing.

For years, I referred to my partner as “my better half.” This was due to a religiously influenced desire to diminish myself at every opportunity, to make everything and everyone more important than I was, a desire to be “the last.” Note: this is nothing that my partner wanted or believed! My personal history made me a prime candidate for a religious mysticism that approved of self-abasement or “humility” in the name of universal, “transcendent” love. In addition, the judgmental type of Evangelical Christianity that had caused me such pain when I was younger precisely typified the attitude I wished to turn my back on completely, and thus notions of bowing before the divine in all was extremely appealing to me; I believed that this was the only way to love, truly love others.

Nowadays, I believe this isn’t such a good approach. I don’t think it’s feasible or healthy or desirable. To respect or love others doesn’t mean I have to treat myself like shit or view myself as the lowest of the low.

Part of this effort to treat myself with self-respect has been to pay attention my less than healthy practices, and so I began referring to my spouse as my boo bear (one of my favorite nicknames for him) or my significant other. I’ve been shedding, one after the other, damaging habits that pertained to my old beliefs. I’ve embraced new life. My human life. My beautiful, “transcendent-free” earthly life. My humanity.

This will be the essence of Atheist Tiki Hour. Cocktails for everybody!

Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor